This thing that photographers do

I’ve been modeling for most of my adult life. There’s this thing that happens sometimes when I’m shooting with a photographer. In fact, it happens most of the time with photographers from the kink or queer scenes, and with particularly quirky photographers.

Photographers like to pull their dicks out. Sometimes they do it during the shoot, but it usually happens after you’re done shooting. Rarely do they ask me to do anything to their dicks. They would not protest if I offered. It always seemed an open invitation that I could politely decline. But more than a blow job, they want me to watch them stroke their dicks.

This happened tonight, but is far from an isolated incident. I was shooting some promotional pictures with a photographer friend in the neighbourhood. I know him from kink parties and we talk a lot about the scene and various sex parties. Tonight he had transwomen on his mind. Apparently he finds them sexy but doesn’t want to pay for sex with one. I think transwomen are sexy too and I’d also love to have sex with one at some point. I also don’t think I’d pay cos I’d want it to be with a friend. But he likes the hyper-sexualized and surgeried femme transwomen, and I tend to like the more androgynous and natural transwomen.

Anyways, we were done shooting and he showed me backpage.com where some transwomen advertise their services. Then he showed me a video of one of them. She had a huge dick. I said it looked like it was too big for me. He asked if I didn’t like big dicks. I responded that I like dicks that are neither too big nor too small. So he pulled his mostly erect dick out, asking me about the size. It was definitely on the larger size. It was a nice looking dick. Then for some reason he went to get his large dildo, to compare the size. When he returned with the dildo, he pulled his dick out again. He suggested that I should watch him use his dildo on himself… or maybe he wanted me to peg him? (I’m into pegging and it’s something we’d discussed before… not doing it together, but that it’s something I like giving and he likes receiving.)

I certainly didn’t feel any pressure to touch him.  I was turned on, I mean, I think transwomen are incredibly hot. I also like the photographer. He’s not 100% my type, but he’s definitely a good looking guy with nice tattoos and a big dick. Yet my surprise and discomfort outweighed any sexual urges. It was a weird scene. Low quality porn depresses me. Him pulling his dick out made me uncomfortable. We’ve never hooked up before nor discussed hooking up together. In fact, I don’t actually know him that well. Despite being in an open relationship, I’m feeling more monogamous with my boyfriend these days. And I’ve had a lot on my mind recently. And I have my period. And it was awkward and came out of nowhere and I just wasn’t in the mood, so I made an excuse to leave. “Oh, I called the taxi… maybe it’s downstairs now.”

I don’t feel upset or violated. I’m 90% laughing at it now because it was kind of hysterical. I’m pretty open minded about sexuality. I’m not sure what he was trying to achieve there… but he was thinking with his dick and dicks don’t think rationally. Well, at least I have another good story.

This is certainly not the first time a photographer has pulled out his dick. This happens ALL THE TIME. But only once, a long time ago, did one ever request a blow job. And this was on a paid shoot. The rest of the time, they usually just want me to watch them.

Is it because they find me attractive and are aroused and want a role reversal where I watch them after they’ve been watching me? A role reversal from the voyeur to the exhibitionist? That’s the only reason I can come up with. Please post any thoughts you have. I’d like to understand it better.

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On a colleague quitting stripping

“I’m not who I am and I’m not who I want to be and my job isn’t helping any. I’m not built to be heartless and if you have a boyfriend or not when you do what I do it just isn’t right and as of tonight I quit. Its time to be the woman I was meant to be. And with that I begin to find happiness.”

A colleague of mine is trying to quit stripping.

This reveals that she’s more sensitive than I originally thought. When I met her, I thought she was a genuinely sweet girl, but then her style and vibe changed. She got harder and quieter at work. I’m glad that’s not a reflection of her true self.

Upon speaking with her about it, she said that her stripper friends disapproved. They told her she was stupid for quitting. I think she’s smart. On one hand, you can make a lot of money as a stripper. On the other hand, it’s a dead-end job. You can’t put stripping on your resume and you’re sure as hell not doing any networking when you’re at the club. (Another reason I don’t tell customers about my degrees–I will post on this later.) While it makes you money for a time, it prevents you from having a sustainable career (e.g. one you can do when you’re old, disabled or ugly).

I hope she does get out. She’s a sweet and lovely girl. I hope her next step is true to herself and in line with her goals, skills and talents.